During weddings, most of the spotlight goes to the bride and the mother of the bride. Yes, she is handing over her daughter to a new journey with someone else. But she’s not the only one whose child is starting a new life. The mother of the groom is also handing over her soon to embark on that same journey.
You were there to teach him how to tie his shoes, when he got behind the wheel for the first time (hopefully). During all these life events, you were the number one girl in his life. Now, someone else has taken this spot. Here are 5 tips for the mother of the groom…
1. You aren’t saying ‘goodbye,’ you’re just closing a chapter for another one to open.
It may seem like this moment may be the last time you’ll see your son – handing him over to another woman. Sure, he may not come to you like he used to. But a new part of your lives is opening up. Maybe they’ll be expecting and you’ll assume the role of grandmother. Maybe you’ll finally have the freedom to do things you normally couldn’t. You’ll also get to see your son grow in his new role as husband. This is one of the moments you raised him for. Be proud.
2. Don’t try to outdo the other mother.
You are all after one thing – the union of your children. Working together with one another rather than in competition. During a time of coming together, don’t be the ones creating a divide. This will only cause friction for you and potential stress for the kids. Both of the mothers should be in it for them.
3. Embrace every invitation and make every effort to be there.
If your future daughter-in-law invites you with her to go wedding dress shopping, or to attend the fitting, or even to join her for a cake-tasting, make your best efforts to be there. She’s attempting to build a relationship with her future family. The bride and the groom won’t be the only ones unifying. Even though these events may not be your immediate priority, the bride is making an effort to unify the families and make everyone feel included. Just because you are the mother of the groom doesn’t mean you are the odd man out. You are just as important as the other members of the bridal party.
4. Planning the rehearsal dinner.
In most traditions, it’s the groom’s family that plans the rehearsal dinner. Remember that a rehearsal dinner is a secondary event to the main event of the wedding. Chat with the couple to get a sense of how they envision their rehearsal dinner. It is an event to celebrate them, so make sure their preferences are included in the planning. This event is also a great way for each side of the bridal party to get to know each other better and be more comfortable around each other for the big day.
5. Always be supportive.
Let the bride and her family lead in the wedding planning decisions. Remember how it was for your wedding day. For many brides, this could be considered one of the most important days in their lives. They want everything to go according to plan, their plan. Stay supportive, never challenge a decision, and if you’re asked for your opinion, think before speaking to avoid drama and misunderstandings. Focus on keeping the lines of communication open and agreeable.