Today, as couples date, their discussions may eventually turn to marriage. Having important conversations while you’re dating can potentially identify if you’re a good match for each other. Here are five conversations to have while you’re still dating.
Expectations For The Relationship
While this might be an easy topic for couples to talk about, you need to lay down the ground rules of your relationship early on. Defining your expectations can be as little as talking about next steps, such as when you will introduce each other to your family, or when you would want to move in together, among other things.
Having mutual expectations helps set the foundation for your ongoing relationship, which can make future discussions about your future and potential marriage easier. Defining your expectations helps you create a balance and respect for you and your partner.
If You Have Or Want Kids One Day
At some point after the marriage discussion is comfortable, the topic of children will arise. If either partner has children from a previous relationship, you need to talk about how the kids will be a part of your relationship going forward. Living arrangements, visitation rights, and financial support must be agreed to. If you’re starting a family, an important question is how many? Likewise, when to start your family is another important consideration.
Finances are a big discussion topic for couples, especially in today’s world. Having an open conversation about your approach to financial management of your family is important. Some topics to discuss and reach agreement on are shared expenses versus individual expenses, and how to manage those categories.
There are “savers” and “spenders”, and you need to know which category your partner falls into. Two savers or two spenders may work out okay (assuming the two spenders agree on some level of fiscal responsibility), but a spender and saver relationship could be troublesome down the road.
Your Shared And Personal Goals
It’s important to have your partner understand your personal goals early on in your relationship. Your personal goals may change as your relationship grows, but regardless your partner must be supportive of those goals. Things like looking for a new job, or going back to school to complete or get an advanced degree will impact your relationship.
Likewise, should your partner wish to do the same, you must be supportive of that change. And finally, there will be shared goals that you will agree to work on together. Things like starting a family, buying a house or a new car are things that you will agree to do as a couple.
Talk About Your Family And Childhood
We’re all shaped by our upbringing and those experiences. Discussing those with your partner will help them understand you and what drives you. Each of you have different backgrounds, and family plays a big part in a person’s life. Talk openly about your family and your favorite memories of growing up, and ask your partner to share theirs as well. Knowing all you can about a potential partner will only make your future relationship stronger.
Follow these steps while you’re still dating to help your relationship in the long run. Check out our collection and our blog for more wedding tips including supporting black owned businesses in your wedding planning for when you’re ready to take the next step.