This is it. The time has come when you’re about to find THE dress. You know, the one you’ll walk down the aisle in. The one your significant other will see you in and shed a tear on sight. The one you’ll be wearing when you say “I do.” Yes, THAT dress. It holds a lot of pressure so you’re bound to feel some when finding the right one for your body type.
It can be easy to get discouraged. Especially when you’ve tried on a couple dresses and none of them fit right. That’s when those words start to creep in… I’ll never look good in a wedding dress or I’m too big or I’m ugly or it will never fit. Once you start thinking these thoughts, you’ll never find the right dress regardless of how many you try on and how amazing you look in every one.
A lot of people talk about “the spark” or the feeling you get when you’ve found the dress. The spark is what you’re supposed to feel when everything fits and looks absolutely perfect. Unfortunately, we’re all human and we all have flaws so perfection is impossible. So when you don’t see the perfection you’re expecting, it can be a little disappointing. This feeling can deter anyone from finding the right dress for them. Everyone has insecurities, even supermodels. But they still get on that catwalk and own the stage. Now, it’s your turn. Here are a few ways to avoid self-criticism and go wedding dress shopping with confidence and self-love.
Bring your body love with you and speak your mantra in the mirror.
You’re right, it’s not something you can just put in your bag. But having a mantra can change your perception of your body. Picture this: you just tried on a beautiful gown but you look at yourself in the mirror and say, “oh my god, I look disgusting,” instead of “wow, I am beautiful.” Each sentence can send you in completely different directions. Which way would you rather go? Speak positive mantras about yourself in replace of that self-criticism you were about to say. Lucky for you, a mantra is something that you can bring wherever you go. It doesn’t even need to fit your bag.
Stay open minded: the first dress you try on may not be the one.
Don’t go dress shopping with your heart set on one particular dress. There are many unpredictable circumstances that could arise with this mindset. That style may not be available, it may not look how you thought it would, etc. This mindset sets you up for failure. It’s best to stay open minded and trust the staff. They’re there to help and they know what will look best on you. It’s also good to research beforehand. Look up a variety of bridal dresses you like. But with research comes caution. Know when the inspiration starts to become triggering. Social media is a powerful thing that makes everything look seamlessly perfect. It’s not. So don’t compare.
Bring people who will build you up, not tear you down.
We all have that one friend or family member. The one who is a little too honest. It’s okay to leave them at home. You don’t have to include everyone on your dress shopping excursion. It’s your special day and you need people there who will compliment your features rather than point out your flaws. You’re already dealing with your own self-criticism, you don’t need anyone else’s.
Show up as your best self, inside and out.
Think of this like going to an interview. You want to impress the interviewer so you dress the part. Only in this case, the dress is your interviewer. Now, this doesn’t mean you get your hair and makeup professionally done or wear dress pants and a blazer when you go shopping. Wear what makes you most confident. Looking and feeling good will make you feel the same when trying on gowns.
Wedding dress shopping should make you feel empowered. It should be fun and exciting! So don’t let those negative thoughts get you down. Embrace the things you’re insecure about and own that aisle like the runway. The person at the end of it loves all of your flaws and insecurities. It’s what makes you beautiful.